I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
