I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
