That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
