i just wanna soil my oats bro
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
