You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
