Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
