remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
