YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
