Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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