Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
