Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
