I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
