fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
