so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
