soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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