One girl and one boy is just not enough.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
