okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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