so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
