he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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