She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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