true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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