apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
