I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
