OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
