i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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