you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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