Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
