But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
