these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
