I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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