last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have feelings that need drinking.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
