ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
