Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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