I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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