chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
