My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
