I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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