That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
