i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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