I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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