how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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