I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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