I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
