and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
