I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We got so high we made milksteak
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
