my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Its about making memories worth repressing
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
