i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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