My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
