It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
