I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
