You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just threw up on my dentist
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
