I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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