I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
