This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Drake has all the answers
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize