Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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