can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sext me about skeletons
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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