is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize